NO SURRENDER...FIX BAYONET'S

O.K., I'll admit it. The news of the extension to Race's trip definitely brought out the worst in me. I have cried and figuratively thrown a full blown tantrum because I miss my husband. My kids miss their father. We had all the details worked out. And then THIS. It was a huge blow. Like someone knocked the air out of you. And I DID NOT handle it well at all.

It is through the miracle of God's amazing grace that he doesn't turn His back on me at times like this. That he doesn't just leave me there to wallow in all of my self pity. Oh, I do a very good job of justifying my feelings, by saying, "What about the kids? They will be devastated!" And they may be. But God is faithful. He knows what I need, and He knows what my children need. Thank-you so much for your prayers.

I was reminded in a very humbling and frightening way this week, just how dangerous Race's job really is. His tasks each day require his full attention. He can't have an "off day". I was humbled because I realized that I was so wrapped up in my own plans, my own selfish expectations, that I had forgotten the larger picture. There are LIVES on the line here, and not just his. When asked to help out a bit longer than expected to do a job that.........LIVES depend on, in the most fundamental way you can imagine......Could he say, "Sorry, man....gotta get home for baseball...hope ya find someone..." ? Would I WANT him to say that? I was reminded just how much bigger this all is than just me. And somehow, I will relay that to our children. And we will carry on.

In Race's line of work there is a definite communication break down for those that they leave back home. There has to be. I cannot tell you how difficult that is for me to handle. Actual conversations are few and far between, and so vague that you would think that we hardly knew one another. Now THAT'S hard! And I am sure that it will come as no surprise to you that none Race's co-workers have families who are together any more. And they'd give anything to "fix it". I hope that we can be a positive influence, in that way.

I am so thankful for my family. They have made such an enormous difference in the lives of each of my children. I just don't know where we would be without them to fill the gap. They are truly one of my greatest blessings. They spend time with my kids, even when it isn't easy. ANd they call to check on me, even when they aren't sure what to say.

Psalm 119:32 (NEB) "I will run the course set out in thy commandments,/ for they gladden my heart."
Thanks so much for all of your prayers. We're alittle battered, and there will be more to come as the kids find out about the extension, but we're not beaten. And they won't be either.

Have a great day!
Melissa