Johnny Bad Ass Email

O.K. So you guys know that Race is away for most of the year, right? Well, while Mr. Johnny Bad Ass is off to all parts of the world unknown to me, and is whoopin' it up with his team on his few off hours.....A wife's gotta get creative.
A very good navy seal friend of ours gave me some good advice, one time when I was lamenting to him about Race's position, and how difficult it is for me to understand. He said, " Well, Melissa, it's your job to make him forget all that as quickly as possible." Good advice.Now, all that's pretty easy to do when he comes home, it's more difficult while he's away. While Race is gone,I send all sorts of crazy emails to him, to make him smile, and to show him how much I love him.
While most of them are unfit to put here, I thought that THIS one was pretty funny:




Once upon a time there was a princess named Melissa. Her extravagant beauty was known throughout all the kingdoms.
One day she met a strong, brave and handsome knight. His name was Sir Race. He was instantly mesmerized by Princess Melissa's charm,wit and beauty. She made all the wenches in the other kingdoms seem ugly and dumb in comparison. He must have her hand in marriage.
Now, the princess knew that being the wife of a brave knight would be a very different life than what she was used to at her father's castle. But she had fallen deeply in love, and knew that her life would never be complete without him. The princess' head could not be turned by all of the many other suitors who tried to woo her.
As time went on, the brave knight traveled the world and had many exciting adventures. He fought evil everywhere he went.
Meanwhile, the princess dutifully stayed home and raised their 3 beautiful children and cared for their vast castle and grounds all by herself. The poor princess spent many lonely nights at home. She worried about her brave knight, and she prayed for him every day. She worried that he would be injured in a duel. She worried that he and the other knights might partake of too much ale. She worried that he would not be able to resist the many wenches who would be throwing themselves at his feet.
But deep in her heart she knew that he would always be faithful. And the brave knight knew, that should he ever find pleasure in any wench, the princess would release the dragons who would hunt him down and pick the flesh from his bones.
So, the princess dedicated herself to his happiness, wether near or far. She used her wit and charm to amuse him, and she set out to make herself even more beautiful for him.(GASP!)
The brave knight loved her, and he longed to give her all that her heart desired.
Princess Melissa and Sir Race went on to share many adventures together, and their love was known throughout all the kingdoms.They grew old together, and would sit at the castle and watch their many grandchildren play in the vast gardens.
And they lived happily ever after.



At the end,I sent a picture. I used a little twist from Laney's take on "The End", for those that remember that post! He thought it was funny!

G'night!
Melissa