I am trying to unwind from a very trying day today. One glance at my calendar, and you'll know why I am feeling slightly overwhelmed. It is an interesting predicament.
We live outside of town, and all of the kids activities are in town.
I am one person, with one car.
Austin is 14. He is involved in the things that he is passionate about. He takes 5 hours of mixed martial arts training a week. He will be playing baseball on the varsity team of a local private school, as well as the Dixie Boys League. He is also involved in the Boy Scouts. His activities are not too much for him, and it is exciting to see him work so hard to achieve his goals. Savannah is 12. She is still figuring out what she wants to seriously pursue. She takes dance and art each week. Jack is 8. He likes to have fun, as all 8 yr olds should. He enjoys martial arts and will be trying his hand at baseball this year. None of the kids are involved in "too much". And this is something that I carefully monitor, always looking for signs of stress. But I see none. They are thrilled. There is nothing that they would rather be doing. Add to these, church and youth group, and various birthday parties, etc. And you've got one full calendar.
BUT. I am one person. With one car.
So, while I am excited beyond belief to watch my growing children stand at the edge of our little nest and try out their wings.......I'm not quite sure how to juggle it all. I miss having dinner as a family at home. I miss just laying in the floor and playing a board game at night. It's a tough compromise. Jack will not be raised in the same environment that his brother and sister were. It is not ideal, but that's the way it is. He seems as jovial as ever, but there is a part of me that wishes that I could give him a little more time at home.(Isn't that funny.....And we homeschool!!!) Just doing simple things. With me. It feels a bit like a whirlwind right now.
So, if you pray, pray for me, as I seek to what is best for EACH of our children.That I will figure out how to invest in my children, even when it's not convenient. Even when we are in the car, on the road. That God would give me wisdom in this area of my life, to do what He would want. ANd also the strength and persistence to continue mothering, schooling, taxi-ing, and a home remodel(What was I thinking!). Race will not be gone forever. WHen he comes home we will be TWO people and TWO cars. ANd THAT will feel much better.
Thanks for the prayers,
G'night,
Melissa
6 comments:
Oh Melissa. I could have written this but my oldest is 8. Your post is a reminder that this won't get any easier as they grow. As you know I am also 1 person, 1 car a lot of the time.
I have the hardest time letting go. I like to be with each child as they do their activity. Watch each event. Each practice. With 5 kids I'm seeing that there will come a point when I have to let go a bit. And that's hard for me. As it is I let Ryan stay in choir by himself while I wait outside because it's just too much with the other 4.
And that's just ONE doing things. My 6yo is starting to want to do other things, seperate things from his as well. And even if one child does one activity a week that's 5 activities! Potentially on 5 different days - YIKES!
What I've decided is we will do Girl Scouts/Boy Scouts (when I find a good boy troop) because then the boys/girls will be together. Then we'll add a special thing like choir/dance/whatever. Any sport or elective extra will have to be seriously considered. I know my oldest would LOVE football but selfishly I just dont' know if I can do it. So many practices, games, etc...
I feel your dilemma. Hugs - keep praying and God will reveal the best for you. I will tell you this. I have an aunt of 4 children. They range from 14-19 now. She has homeschooled them since the oldest was 1st grade. The one regret she has is spending too much time with the church and other activities and not enough time just with her kids. She can't get back that time now.
Something to ponder. In 20 years, what will be more important?
HUGS
Sorry for the novel! lol
You said it so very well. You and the kids are always in my prayers, but I will add a special request for you to be uplifted and encouraged, as well as for clarity in the direction you need to head from here. It's hard to be one person. With one car. And three children. With busy schedules. Boy, I'm just so thankful you aren't packing boxes and trying to move right now! Could you imagine adding that limbo to this year's schedule? YIKES!
Call me if ever you need someone to talk you down, or you want to hear the weird stories you know we're living here, or just to have coffee and a chat.
I will keep you all in my prayers. I know how hard it is to run all the time, I did it when Rusty was working nights and that was for just 2 years. I don't know how you do it. It's really hard sometimes you just want to say "STOP, I want to get off the merry go round, I can't do anymore" but then you just take a deep breath and move forward. My parents did it with us and my Dad still helps me out now.
Keep your head up, try to fit in a little "you" time, take that deep breath and remember these are the memories that you are building for your children.
Bridget
You know you're always in my prayers,here! I'll send up an extra one today.
And remember, I am available for chauffering services if you need me! :0)
You may be one person but you often are doing the work of two. Your kids are great and will appreciate you for it.
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