Sweet, sweet shoe god. What are you trying to do to me?
Now, a couple of the booties on the left headlight caught my eye, and mind you I would love to have them. But the pair that stopped me cold in my tracks, made my palms sweat, and realize that I simply could.not.live.another.happy.day.without the knowledge that these shoes were on their way to my closet, was the breathtaking boot on the RIGHT headlight.
Theyre not black. They're brown.
Oh.My.GOSH.
My trembling fingers quickly dropped the ad and tapped out the email address where my lovely fall boots awaited. I quickly found them, and hit "select". Then they drop in your virtual shopping cart and you checkout, right???
No. No my friends. That is not what happened. A new screen appeared that read something like, "Yes, we loved these too, we just weren't able to keep them in stock. Have a look at our other shoes and maybe you'll find a new favorite".
wait a minute. what?
Then I hit the back button several times and tried repeatedly, thinking that this was some sort of glitch. Some sort of computer error. Some sort of damned sick joke!
Quickly I " googled" the name of the boots.
nothing. Only at THIS store can you get these shoes.
what???
Ah-HA! EBAY!
My fingers flew...
nothing. .............On EBAY!!!!
What the h_ll??? BUT-but-but...I JUST GOT THE AD!!!!!!!!!!
Good God People! This is AMERICA!! The country of immediate gratification. Of over-the-top materialism. And you're tellin' me that I can't HAVE these boots??? These wonderful, buttery soft, look- good- with- anything- boots??
My ONE FALL SHOE PURCHASE! And you're tell'n me I CAN"T get them???
Is this what life would be like with Obama as president?
Seriously. I was crushed. and angry. How dare Piperlime send me an ad on an out-of-stock beautiful boot. I had already envisioned myself wearing them. I could just see myself clicking down the isles of Food Lion, pushing my little cart. (Silence! It's where I hang. Don't laugh. I live in the country.)
My mind began to trail. I was losing it. I could envision myself handing a large wad of cash to some immigrant somewhere, with his grateful family behind him, as he handed me the boots. (O.K, this was a little off seeing as how these were made in Germany.....but you can see my utter desperation.)
So I sent Piperlime and email. I asked if these shoes would be available again. As of this evening I had not received a reply.
I began to think of the OTHER people who had already PURCHASED the boots. (You know BEFORE they were out of stock.) Ha! Lock your doors tonight people.Lock your doors.
I thought of seeing them on someone. On a friend, even. "So....where'd you get THOSE stupid boots?" I'd say.
" Oh yeah?.......Well....they're stupid."
Tonight, I wanted to show Savannah the boots. She doesn't REALLY care, but she pretends that she does. And then I pretend I "get"art. It all works out, really. I went to piperlime again. And there they were.
BACK IN STOCK. (chorus of angels singing)
Piperlime has a ROCKIN' customer service department!
ALL HAIL THE GREAT SHOE MECCA THAT IS PIPERLIME!!!
Don't judge me.
Look at them again.
Cheers!
Melissa
4 comments:
If I weren't equally addicted to footwear, I might think you had a problem. But no, you are completely normal! I hope you will post a picture of yourself in them and the smashing fall outfit that I know you already have in mind!
Another one here with an addiction to shoes, let me know when you start that support group. How could they already be out of stock, unreal. But congratulations on the great purchase, we will definitely need a picture of you in them. Oh, I also "heart" purses, I haven't met many purses I didn't love. sigh I think it's time for another purse purchase, got to get that new fall purse.
Hee, hee. As one who hasn't bought a pair of shoes since the horrible Croc-of-pregnancy, I gotta say... I don't get it. Most of my boots are at least ten years old. But I do love me some boots.
And, if I'm being honest, I like the tall light brown one beside the boot of your dreams. The heel looks far more forgiving, and it would look great with calf-length skirts this winter. ;-)
Have fun knockin' 'em dead at Food Lion!
Dy
BAwhahahaha!!! That was the funniest thing I've read in a loooong time. Oh...that was awesome. The part about the immigrant...hahaha...hilarity! Thrilled they're back in stock, and yes...it appears you have a problem ;-)
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