Now THAT'S Talent

Mom, I apologize in advance for the contents of this post.

I grew up with only sisters in my family and with one very lady like mama who believed that little girls should have good manners. My dad was the sole male in the house. The lone ranger. The bread winner. The Dragon Slayer. And THE.FINAL.WORD. in all decisions.

As little girls, we were taught that "farting" WAS the "f" word.

and that word was forbidden.

It was referred to as "having gas" and was to be avoided at all costs, and should the awful situation arise, it should be followed by a demure "excuse me", and THAT.IS.ALL. If there was a snicker or giggle it was typically met with my mom saying in her pleasant, little, half-smiling way, "Girls, that's not very lady-like". (My mom was a somewhere between Glenda the Good Witch and Snow White)

This is the way it was. It was in stone an we lived by it.

There was only one hitch in this whole system.

My dad.

You see, my dad, being the master of this particular castle and ruling by dictatorship, NOT democracy, did not subscribe to this particular prim, modus operandi.

NO sir.

Around the family, he would just let 'er rip.

He's never been a man for much genteel pageantry, so this was usually a thundering, ground shaking event that would probably have been followed by applause in some far off, obscure cultures.

This always shocked us girls, and would undoubtedly produce stares of disbelief and attempts at repressed laughter. My mom would only utter his name in a sort of shameful admonishment, and then shoot us girls a look to let us know that LAUGHING at the unfortunate flatulence was also not really appropriate for young ladies.

One day Thomasina and Emily were playing badmitten out in the yard, and my dad walked by on his way into the house.

He never missed a step in his stride as he ripped out a loud one.

It was here, that Em turned,paused in her game and answered, "Yeah dad?"

That's right. She ANSWERED her fathers fart.

Thomasina quickly said, in sort of an embarassed whisper, "He didn't CALL YOUR NAME. He farted!" (Although I am sure that she must have said "passed gas" , mom)

My dad took no notice of them whatsoever and went into the house.

You can imagine the roar as the two girls collapsed on the lawn in riotous laughter.

This story is one of my "go to" stories when I really need to laugh. In fact my kids tell it too.

I am told that some of Em's friends will occasionally bring it up and say, "Hey Em, can your dad still fart your name?"

Now THAT'S talent.

Cheers!
Melissa

The white work truck

Today we had to drive Austin to his co-op class. He is currently in the beginning of a dental"treatment plan." That is apparently dentist speak for "you could buy a kidney for less money than this is going to end up costing you.) Anyway, he was still feeling pretty lousy from his dental visit, and Race had to go into the office today, so it was my day to drive.

We dropped him off for class, and then Savannah and Jackson and I headed on to run a few errands. The roads were super busy today for some reason, so I was concentrating on manuevering the suburban through the traffic.

This must be the reason that I missed the big work truck drive by at first.

It seems that work must have been MIGHTY, mighty slow today, because the guys in the truck were waving and driving along beside us.

Jackson informed me of this immediately. Ever ready to jump into his knight in armour attire, he was saying in a grave voice, "MOM. Those guys were "checking you out". I do NOT like them mom. They're creeps!They need to be taught a lesson!" I hadn't seen them, and so I made some lame excuse about "maybe they just wanted to know where I got my bumper sticker". To which he replied, "NO, MOM. NO. That was NOT the look of 'want' that was in their eyes."

*At that point in the conversation I tried not to wreck the car. I could see Savannah's incredulous stare at Jack, sitting across from her.*

So anyway, the truck pulls up beside us again at the light. And these poor depraved things are waving and smiling and trying to get me to roll down my drivers side window. (In which the motor is burnt out, anyway LOL!) I just sat staring straight ahead at the light, and thinking, "Crap! I STILL don't have my BLADE on me !"
The suburban has darkly tinted windows in the back, so you cannot tell if anyone else is in the vehicle.
I had drowned out the constant , idignant chatter of Jackson as the light FINALLY turned green and we began to move. (whew!......All good........on our way.........no biggie.)

But I definitely did NOT forsee what would happen next.

As we passed the white, king cab work truck, my 11 year old son, rolls down his window and begins shaking his fist at these men and angrily yelling, "Yeah....C'MON! You want some-uh this?!! YEAH.....I'LL TEACH YOU SOME MANNERS You CREEPS That's MY MOM! "

Holy Cow. I was stunned. And amused. ANd a little scared for this childs future.

After the whole episode was over and the windows were all rolled up, it was all quiet in the suburban. Savannah was staring at Jackson, speechless. I was just watching the road straight ahead, and trying to put as much distance between us and the truck as possible.

And then Jackson spoke and said, "OH. I am SO telling dad about this when he gets home."

I do hope that the guys in that work truck today saw as much humor in my kid as I did!!!

Cheers!
Melissa

Monday

We had a day filled with doctor appointments (Jackson), Dentist appointments(Austin), and an audition,(Savannah). So Race and I split up and conquered all the running around. Savannah was auditioning for chorus in town. She got the audition(yay!), but she isn't sure that it's going to be her thing yet.



We've been building a lot of campfires lately. It's been cold. So we've been bundled up. ANd I fixed some mulled apple cider for everyone.

I love to sit around the campfire with my family. The kids love to tell old stories about each other as little kids. Like Savannah getting a Tiny Tart stuck up her nose while I was yelling at the paint man at Lowes , or Jackson taking off his diaper and pooping on the front porch and me cursing at the cat for doing it,(hmm....it seems that I have a bit of a bitter tone...ahem) and Austin always, ALWAYS playing batman in Savannah's Barbie house.

It's funny how much they really love hanging out together sometimes.

I really love that.

So, I just thought that I'd write a bit really quick, and now I'm headed back out to the campfire. I gotta go, because they're setting up the telescope............and the stars have been gorgeous the last few nights.....(Deep Sigh)

Cheers!
Melissa

Something in the air......

It seems that with the kids' lack o' planned activities, that my old, reclusive, homemaking side is coming back out.
With Austin driving himself (and sometimes his siblings) to the few organized activities that we are currently strapped to, I am finding myself at home much ,more than I have been over the past 2 years.

It feels gooooooooood......

I may be a recluse. And my Piperlime booties are certainly not in fear of being worn out this season, but "HEL-looooo Small Country Town Martha Stewart" !!

Dude- I am totally getting back in touch with my domestic side.

I had forgotten how much I LOVE to cook. And bake. And ....BE HOME.

I love it.

My kitchen is clean.

But not the kind of clean that smells like bleach.

The kind of clean that shows everything in it's place and smells of homemade oatmeal rasin cookies.

I have been baking bread and hanging laundry out on the line. Just today I made a Fresh Apple Cake with some of the apples that we brought home from the orchard the other day.

I forgot that I could actually do this stuff. I used to do it all the time. EVERYTHING was from scratch as the kids were growing up. We were broke. Always.. And I learned what it meant to stretch a dollar.

One of the things that we did this year was to buy half a cow from a grass fed supplier. It was at a great price, and hopefully Race will be able to add a deer or 2 to that freezer, and we're SET. It feels good to have a freezer full of meat.

I was also able to off set our veggies this year with our garden. I have lots of green beans in the freezer as well, as well as some broccoli, and all the stalks that we can use for Cream of Broccoli soup. I also planted some lettuce and spinach for a fall crop, and I am hoping that I didn't wait too late.

So, yeah......the cooking, the baking, the homemaking. All good.

I can hear your question, " But what about working out, Melissa? ", you ask.

"WHEN are you finding the time??"

Well..................

I'm in a bit of a funk.
It's not that I've given it up.

It's just that I'm not that INTO it.

I'm DOING it......but not well.
And my heart just isn't there right now.

There's something in the air.........

It wispers to me.............

"Winter is coming............Haaarrrrrrrd winter................Winter is coming................Must...................Save...............Fat."

I can't shake it, man.

So I cook. I bake. I bake. I cook.

It's instinctual, or something.

That layer of fat.

I mean, c'mon.......it's big sweater season ,right?

Is it just me?

I'm off to have a slice of Fresh Apple Cake.
Cheers!
Melissa

Did you HONESTLY think that I could remain "wordless" for all of Wednesday??

Race and I are planning to watch the last presidential debate tonight.

I was looking at Michelle Malkins website today.

Race and I decided that there was only one way to make it through with a smile on our face.

We have come up with a rum based cocktail that we have dubbed "The Bail Out" and will turn this evening's debate into a drinking game of sorts. We have a list of phrases to listen for : McCain's "My friends" and Obama's "Let me be clear here". *drink* When we hear the words "Main Street" and "kitchen table" *drink*. "Bush" *drink* You get the idea.

When I related this to Dy earlier today she DID point out that there is a bit of a pattern developing for me in this election. But in this sort of election there are those who love to drink.........and those who need to learn to love to drink. At this point I may be an alcoholic by election day.

And Here's an idea! When this is all over we could all start a CONSERVATIVE party!! That would be cool, huh?

And then maybe I'd go "on the wagon" and mend my hard drinkin' ways.

But right now.......I'm thinking that I'd better get to the polls really EARLY on Nov. 4th.

CHEERS! (Lifting my "Bailout" *clink*) Let the games begin!
Melissa



(Yes, mom.......I'm joking)

Wordless Wednesday

Evil Knievel goes down hard

When you take your sisters bike...................

And you try to do a wheelie off of THIS ramp:
Well......this is one of the many possibilities that can happen:

Yep, it's broken.

Jackson was doing a wheelie off of the above ramp and his front wheel landed harder/faster than he thought(so I hear) and he went over the handle bars, with his bike going following him in one giant circle. He broke his radius. (He has explained this to me numerous times, by now.)

He is actually lucky that it wasn't much worse. It isn't displaced, but the break does go from the radius up into the wrist and growth plate.

And, yeah....he's right handed.

Race and I were out running errands together (read: trying to get some peace and quiet to speak in complete sentences to one another) and had just arrived back at home about 5 minutes after the accident took place.

Jack's brother had administered proper first aid, put him in the bed, and left him there wimpering while he went back to his Algebra 2.

Apparently his older sister witnessed the entire tragedy and tried to help her little brother by pulling the rest of the bike off of him and helping him up, but was unfortunately struck by a laughing streak at that precise moment, rendering her incapable of bearing any resemblence to Florence Nightengale.

Race and I found him crying in his bed and holding his arm.....(with a bag of ice). Race took one look at it and said, "C'mon, we're going to the E.R." Race pulled out his field ops surg. kit, and within 2 minutes had the kid splinted and bandaged, with a sling and an ice bag. (Honestly...I shudder to think what the poor child would have gone through if it had just been me at home.)

We get to the E.R. and the med. tech. let us right in at the E.R. and after much oggling over the emergency first aid that Race had administered....."WOW! Nice wrap job!" , "I have never seen anyone come in from home with a splint like that??" "Are you an EMT?" They had us in the back for x-rays. I am not joking.(Seriously, people. I have to LIVE with this man. LOL)

Have I ever told you that Race can't cook?

Anyway, everyone at the ER was amazing. They took such good care of us, and were just so comforting to Jackson, and even let him go back to look at his X Ray when he asked about it.I left there really thankful for such wonderful medical professionals.

We went to the Orthopedic dr. today and got a cast that is much lighter and easier to maneuver.

Jack has actually handled it like a trooper. His arm is still quite swollen, and sore, but other than being totally bummed about missing the Boy Scout camp-out, he's been O.K. with it. And surprisingly he hasn't tried to milk this injury.

But I'll tell ya. It's been hard watching a kid who is normally SO active, have to be so sedentary. Poor thing.

It will be a long 6 weeks.

Cheers!

Melissa

A lovely Saturday

The last time I spoke to Race he was headed south with our smaller, "more sensible" car, pack-jammed with 16 year old Boy Scouts, with the radio blasting tunes from one kids ipod. They were on their way to camp for the weekend and tackle a ropes course. We yelled our good-byes over the blarring music. But....he loves that stuff, and getting to spend time with Austin and his friends is one of his favorite things to do.

Savannah, Jackson and I had a lovely Saturday! After we spiffed up the house a little bit, we headed out for the afternoon.

Our first stop was the mill. Just a few miles away we have an old, water grinding mill that still sells everything from feed, to chickens, to some local produce, to freshly ground flour and grits. We pass by the field of cows and pull up to the front porch, where I have to wait for the bloodhound to lazily move out of his cool place in the dirt so that I can park. The kids and I have always loved this place. We've been coming here since they were just little. And no matter how long we've been gone, the owner and his daughter always know us by name and remember what we were doing the last time that they saw us. After a bit of, "Y'all still livin' in the same place?" and "So how's your mama and daddy?" and "Lawd those kids are about grown aren't they?" I got some colorful gords, some indian corn and a huge bag of sunflower seeds for our feeders. The resident peacock had decided to make itself at home in the back of a parked pick-up truck and was yelling loudly at the bloodhound who had decided to trifle with it. The owner yelled for his grandson, who is about 13 and told him to "Go and fetch this nice lady 2 bales of straw and load it for her". Which he did. Right after he shoved the crawdad into his pocket that he had just caught out of the creek around back. We said our thank-you's and good-byes and headed on.

We turned toward the mountain range and drove down the long, winding road that leads straight to the Blue Ridge Parkway. The leaves have begun to turn, so the drive was spectacularly bright with the sun showing through the bright yellow and orange leaves. As you ascend the last hill before our turn, the vast, rolling apple orchard stretches out in front of you, with the mountains rising directly behind it, striking a brilliant picture. We pass the pumpkin patch and the goats and the rabbits to pull up to the old barn and packing house. Inside, there are crates and crates of apples to choose from. The shelves are stocked with fresh apple butter and various jams and jellies.
The man behind the little makeshift counter knows us by name because we have been coming out here since Race and I were first married. Our kids have hauled many a pumpkin out of that patch!
We took our time and wandered around the barn and then the farm itself. We got bags filled to the brim with fresh apples, pumpkins, jars of apple butter, and of course, a jug of apple cider. We each got a warm, homemade donut as we said good bye and headed back to the car.

There is something so comforting in these places that never change. These places that time forgot. Places that still don't take credit cards, but will always take your check without asking you for an i.d. or even a phone number. Where your receipt is written out by hand and added with a calculator. Where they always welcome you back and are so glad to see you.

From there we drove into town and hit the bookstore and Starbucks before coming back home.
We enjoyed the rest of the evening doing some fall decorating and tidying up outside, before coming in to have a bowl of homemade vegetable beef soup.

I plan to end my day by starting my new book "The Art of the Public Grovel" by Susan Wise Bauer.

So. There you have it. A truly lovely Saturday.

Cheers!
Melissa

An Angry Female Conservative

I don't usually post anything about politics here, but I need to get this off my chest. So, I'm sorry to make you my unsuspecting victim.







(Deep Breath..)







If I have to watch one more presidential debate, I will spew.







Where is MY presidential candidate???






When McCain chose Palin for his VP, I thought that I could do it.I thought that I could actually vote McCain.





I like Palin. Not because of the way she looks, or the way that she dresses,(though I must confess that the choice of the Valentino jacket and those scrumptious Naughty Monkey shoes made my heart leap) or the glasses on her face, or that she is "religious", or even that she is a woman.


I like Palin because she is a C.O.N.S.E.R.V.A.T.I.V.E.





Remember those?





Yeah, well, I hadn't really seen one since Reagan, so ...yeah...I was excited. Really excited. And 2012 was looking really interesting from where I was sitting.





But, unfortunately...there's still McCain.





McCain who says that he wants small gov't, and then votes "yes" on that awful bail out bill.


McCain who insists on telling me over and over how he voted against Reagan and against Bush on many occasions.


McCain who insists on reminding me how he skipped gaily around the senate floor, hand in hand with Feingold.


McCain who insists on telling me about how "My friend Joe Leiberman and I.." worked together so many times on legislation.


McCain who seems to want to befriend his opponent, and show us all how many issues that they agree upon, rather than actually OPPOSE him, and CALL.HIM. OUT.





What, exactly is it that you want me to rally behind, Mr. McCain??? Could you be so arrogant as to believe that you are running for President because you DESERVE to be there? Could you?





And is there anything more boring than these debates between Senators??? It's like sitting and watching someone drool.





Bring me a governor any day. Much more substantive debates. Bush, Clinton, Reagan, Carter....remember THOSE debates? All governors. And you weren't asleep at the end of the debate. And you realized at once that these guys were actually running in a race AGAINST one another. Seriously.........there is a REASON that there are 2 main parties........it's because we DON'T AGREE. Fundamental differences.





So. What's a girl to do with her vote? Her one and only VOICE in this great political process. It weighs heavy on my heart and on my conscience. I believe that at some point there have to be enough votes registered in the "other" category to garner sufficient outrage to produce better candidates.





Austin is 16, and after watching both presidential debates, he said, "If it were me I think that I'd have to vote for McCain. Not because I like him.....or even really believe him. But I just think he'd keep us alive longer." He is speaking of course about protection, which is a subject that is very real for our family.

So, that is my angry rant. ANd this is the bumper sticker that is currently on my car. You can get it at www.Zazzle.com
(catching breath)



That is all. I am done, and I shall retreat back to my usual "no politics" blog. Thanks for listening to my vent.

Cheers!
Melissa

Lusting?

I think that I have shared with you here, before that Jackson is dyslexic.

Reading is such a trial, and so laborious.

The dyslexic brain has what I would describe as a "short" in it that makes a disconnect between what the eye sees on the page, and what the brain translates.

It is sometimes an excercise in frustration; "saw" can be "was", "on" can be "no", the letter "n" at random times will be pronounced as a "t"....(and it's always the "n" as the "t"...) SO anyway, reading is slow and I don't blame him for wanting to avoid it. On the bright side, comprehension is still ,somehow, really great. SO. While dyslexia can't be CURED, it can be COPED with and lived with, and overcome.

Today Jackson was reading a chapter outloud to me in "White Fang", (you know the "classics retold" version..). The sentence that he read was " Suddenly Henry and Bill both sat perfectly still at the campfire and listened."

Jack was reading slowly aloud: "Suddenly Henry and Bill......both....sat...per-fect-ly still at the ..campfire.. and .......(long pause).... and.....(As he rolls his eyes slowly up at me...).........LUSTED???

*blink* *blink*

We both cracked up laughing.

Cheers!

Melissa

No laundrymat

So, today was actually an awesome day!(O.K, admitedly not quite AWESOME, but a good day.)

The Amazing Race, (who is a repairer of nothing.. Not being harsh, here folks, it's just a fact that he will readily own up to.)he actually called the washer repairman today and CANCELLED. It seems that the repair guy would charge $85 for coming out to look, and then $25 for every additional 15 minutes, and when he would inevitably have to come BACK out with the *part* it would be another $85 and so on and so on.

So Race CANCELLED.

This scared me. I began to see myself having to use our local laundrymat. (Is that how you spell that?) Have you ever SEEN the people that use OUR local laundrymat???


O.k.,o.k, I will describe just ONE guy:
Middle aged, foreigner. He wears a one piece , blue, zip up jumpsuit. He drives a white work van. He drags(And I mean DRAGS....) his laundry across the laundrymat parking lot, in a GARBAGE CAN....(I suspect that this is to hide the blood stained clothing). A GARBAGE CAN! AND.........he has a hump. I kid you not.

That's just ONE GUY! ONE DESCRIPTION!(I got a million of 'em...I'm quite the people-watcher)

I began to be afraid......VERY afraid. I could imagine being held up at knife,point while my Piperlime booties were ripped off my feet, destined for the black market.

But what happened next, my friends, was a surprise indeed. In fact, I could not have been more surprised if I had awakened with my lovely blonde locks sewn into the carpet.

Race called around...somewhere, I dunno where. And he GOT A PART.

A $5 *part*.

And he came home with said *part*, and he and Austin proceeded to actually FIX my washer. It took them $5 and about 20 minutes.

Oh. And today was "hair day" so I am currently drying a load of towels with impeccably styled/colored hair.

So...yeah...no laundrymat with the serial killer,the is washer fixed for $5, and I got a new do......yeah...good day for me.

Cheers!
Melissa

home again, home again, jiggety jog

O.K., so....we're back home.

Why is it that the further that you get from the beach, the paler your tan looks???

What is one of the wors things that can happen after you load all your junk into the car? Back-back stuffed, kayaks loaded, and bikes all on the rack. What is the worst that can happen? Kids all loaded in, with their ipods on, and husband logging in gps coordinates, waiting on the Mrs. to do the final lock-up of the rental place. What is the worst that can happen? You guessed it. The suburban battery was D.E.A.D. Race grabbed the jumper cables and quickly found a good samaritan, while the Mrs. silently thanked God that she was not on her own. (Mugger, attacker, purse snatcher...bring it on....but, I kid you not, car trouble is my worst nightmare.)

What is one of the worst things that can happen when you get home from vacation? Well, I'll tell you. You COULD have everyone unapack ALL their stuff, and instruct them to bring ALL their dirty laundry to the hallway for washing, only to discover on your FIRST load that your washer (of 13 years, thank-you) is LEAKING. You discover this only when your youngest son comes running upstairs to tell you that there is water dripping out of one of the recessed LIGHTS in his room.

So, for anyone who wants to be me, or is living vicariously through me, I encourage you to stop immediately. ;-)

At any rate, we are still glad to be home. We had a very good first day back to school. I had to monitor study hall today, and the kids just crack me up. The adults still don't speak to me, but I really love the kids.

I will post beach pics as soon as we get our laptop/camera/cord ratio correct.
Cheers!
Melissa

At the Sea Shore........

Oh man, every time I come here and see that picture of the thong lady on the beach it just makes me crack up all over again.

What I am about to write may be painful for you to read. You might want to look away.

So. We are at the shore. The weather has been absolutely fabulous all week long. The kids and Race have spent the week swimming, kayaking, and fishing. There have been a number of sand forts and structures that have been labored over both in their architecture as well as their complex engineering, to try to withstand the incoming tide.

The first part of the week, I was held completely captive by the book that I brought."The Woman in White". I spent days lying on the beach only able to stop reading long enough to apply more sunscreen, take in minimal nutrients and hydration. Oh. My. Goodness. This book has left me completely satisfied. I loved it!

Beautiful sunrises and breathtaking sunsets. No laundry. No school.

A night out to dinner with Race, soft shelled crabs, filet, and carmel apple martinis.

The whole family setting down to dinner together.

Shave Ice O' Plenty at Em's.

Holding my little sweet baby neice till she fell asleep and then not wanting to put her down.....so peaceful.

Watching the kids feed the seagulls, and then walking miles along the beach collecting shells.

Hermit crabs, sand crabs, fiddler crabs. The absolute thrill and excitement of my little nephews who found a starfish..........and a sea horse!!

Watching a fisherman struggle mightily to pull a giant ray onto the beach and the kids getting to examine and touch it before it was released back to the ocean.

Today, the most pressing thing that I have to do today is to put conditioner in my hair.

It is all about to come to an end, but oh, my it has been just heavenly.

My pictures will have to wait till I get home (forgot the cord).

Race and I are about to head down to the local coffee shop for coffee and then hit the beach for the rest of the day.

I can't stop smiling...

Cheers!
Melissa

Sand, Sun and Surf!

I'm going to the beach!!!

At least I'm thin,...... right??

What?........What are you laughing at?

O.K., seriously.....Could I BE more excited????

(Well, technically, yes, I COULD be more excited. Like if we were going back to London, or if Race and I were going to some far away island by ourselves, or something............but still.....I'm pretty damned excited.)

We leave in the morning for the beach.

All of us.
I went by B&N yesterday and everyone got new books. I am excited about "The Woman in White" .(Thanks Amy !) Savannah is trying out the Twilight series, Austin is reading the new Erragon book, and Jackson is all about "White Fang".......Oh-and Race is reading "Blink".

The kayaks are loaded on top of the Burb, and all the crap that everyone is taking, is currently sitting in the dining room awaiting the "Master Packer" to magically fit it into that increasingly small space that is commonly referred to around here, as the "back-back". (shrug) Anyway the last thing that we have to do in the morning is attach the bike rack with all the bikes on it. And we're off!
Em, Todd and their crew are all going to be down there, with the rest of our family trickeling in during the week.

Ever since Em and The Dude became , successful business owners they have the makings for a rockin' arse carnival at their disposal at all times. I hear tell that they are actually bringing their shave ice machine to the beach for all the kids!!! Holy cow, man, How awesome is THAT for an aunt and uncle,huh?Churnin' out the snow cones on the ocean front??? And I ALSO heard tell that someone was throwing in the pina colada makings for the grown ups.

Well, Hel-lo Pina Colada Shave ice!!!

SO we are excited. Lots of outdoor time, lots of family time, lot's of good times!!

Race has his camera and lap top, so we should be able to post pictures.

And in case you were wondering, my contribution to the adult beverages will be to try and perfect the authentic Mojito. Ever tried it? Got any tips?

Cheers!

Melissa

Oh.. O.K, THIS makes me smile..

From Alchemist's Apprentice:

It might not look right on a pitbull, but “Power Pink” is the perfect shade of lipstick for Republican vice presidential candidate and hockey mom Sarah Palin. The color is a bold, saturated pink with a touch of glimmer. This powerful shade of pink celebrates the many faces of women as girlfriends, wives, mothers, entrepreneurs, corporate executives and even vice presidents.

For each lipstick sold, $1.00 will be donated to the McCain⁄Palin campaign.

Our botanical lipsticks are simply the best! They offer a creamy, nourishing mineral colour that lasts, without drying out the lips. We use an exquisite blend of cold pressed exotic oils such as macadamia nut, and rich butters of cocoa and avocado. The combination of these completely pure, organic ingredients create warm, saturated colour that will not budge. The specialty oils and butters leave lips nourished, soft and protected while the organic plant based oils bring out the rich hues of our beautiful mineral colours.

The organic cocoa butter used in our base has an addictive chocolate aroma. The colour is long–lasting, and the texture is velvety smooth.

The organic, 100% pure ingredients in our formulations are cocoa butter, candelilla wax, castor oil, meadowfoam seed oil, sesame oil, avocado butter, macadamia nut oil and vitamin E.The pigment blends contain mica, and may contain titanium dioxide, iron oxides and manganese violet.

You can get your tube HERE .

Thank you Alchemist's Apprentice! (Go ahead...you KNOW you want a tube o' that Palin Power Pink!!!)

We are soaking in the family time right now, with Race being home. We are all working on getting back on the same page as well. It's all good, and I can't wait to update you. But I saw this today and just HAD to pop on to share it!

Cheers!
Melissa

P.S. Thanks so much for the prayers and wishes for our family and for Race. They are always deeply appreciated. I have such great Blog readers!

Exhale

There is always a knot in my stomach as the time draws nearer for Race to return.



This is the time that I am unable to block out the dangers. The very real possibilities.



The "What ifs".



My mind flashes back to images of Race quickly writing his blood type in large type, on all of his clothes and boots.



I remember watching him carefully put away all of the personal effects that he must leave behind.



I think about how methodical and calculated he is as he inspects every piece of gear.



The luxury of taking my husband for granted, is not mine.



I gave up the delusion long ago that control over another heartbeat could ever be in my possession, no matter WHERE God chose to place us. But it is during the days that lead to his arrival that I really struggle. It is almost torturous.



I busy myself with silly things that make no real difference to anyone. My mind is too preoccupied to take on anything that really MATTERS.



So I organize closets. I use new skin treatments. I change sofa cushions.



The day will inevitably arrive.



The knot in my stomach grows as I drive.



I wait. Usually for a long time.



I look at a magazine that I would normally enjoy, but now it seems like mindless drivel.



I wait.



I get a great cup of coffee, but end up throwing it out for no real reason.



I just wait.



After an eternity, I see him.



That one second of my life that I live over and over again is indescribable.



That. one. second.



As I exhale I hear my own audible prayer of thanks.



Our eyes lock instantly. Just seconds more and his arms are around me. The arms that I was SO TERRIFIED of never feeling again.



The underlying tension that has marked each and every day that he has been away, gushes out.



And it's gone.



And God's blessing rushes over me like a wave of goodness.



Race is home.


My deep, and heartfelt appreciation goes out to each and every family member who has a loved one involved in this war on terror. Thank you for your service.


Melissa

I'm just spinning my wheels here...

If you clicked over to this blog looking for the usual witty banter that you have come to expect and enjoy, I am sorry. And may this be the biggest dissapointment of your day.

I've got nothing.

This is me today. I am Patrick.I cannot concentrate on anything. I have no vocabulary, and I have trouble speaking in complete sentences.

It's official. I want to go to the beach. I want Race to come home, and I want to go to the beach. I was looking at our Pictures from last year and now I REALLY want to load up the kayaks and GO!

I also couldn't help but notice that smashing haircut that I had a year ago. A YEAR!!! ANd it is only at my shoulders, people!! A YEAR!!! But I did love that cut. (sigh)

Oh-My boots came in. And I love them with all my heart. Won't *I* just be the talk of the Food Lion??

In other important news. I broke down and bought myself a Ped Egg. (Honestly, why do you even read this blog?)

This might be the grossest thing that I own. I mean, you end up with a box full of dead skin. (Oh- and here's a little tip: If you go to someone elses house and you see THEIR Ped Egg laying around......DO NOT pick it up and open it.) It's sick.

But it works. It really works. My feet are just as smooth as the little korean lady get's them at the salon. Maybe even smoother.

And when I use the ped egg, there is no communication break down.

So I leave you with this, which I found very funny, because remember, I'm Patrick today.



Cheers!
Melissa

Pictures

I had mentioned earlier that we were re-doing the upstairs of our little cape cod, and changing it from what was once 2 small bedrooms, bath, and small hallway into One room for Savannah Plus a much larger bonus room for books, art and tv. Below is the the view from the stairway. To the right is Savannah's bedroom. I pulled off a ton of wallpaper (not fun), and painted the top half of the walls Savannah's choice of color. If you could see it more closely, it is painted to LOOK textured and has 3 actual colors on it, making it look "marbled". I did the remaining part of the walls in a textured wallpaper. It hides a lot of the inconsistencies in the walls, looks neat, and can be painted. We haven't gotten the furniture for this yet, (ahem...nor have we cleaned up our tools..)

A flat screen will go in the right hand corner, and a cool black architects table will go on that left wall.

This is looking from the bonus room into her bedroom. We LOVE the ikea bookshelves!

So. We still have a ways to go, but I feel very "accomplished" having turned this from the hole that it was, into something that suits a young teenage girl!!! And best of all, she loves it!

His father travels.....

Our youngest son, Jackson typically does a pretty good job of keeping his room straight. But I have noticed that once things get out of hand in there, he just sort of gets overwhelmed and starts shoving things out of sight. It had come to that point, and I figured that I had better do a little something to help restore order again. I find that once I do that, he does pretty well keeping it cleaned for quite awhile after that. So. While they were at Boy Scouts tonight, I tackled his room.

Savannah came down and took this picture of some random items found in Adventure Boy's room. (Thankfully, she "gets" this kind of humor!)

Now, really. We ARE GOOD PEOPLE. I swear, we are. We go to church, we pay our taxes, we serve in our community. Our neighbors LIKE us.

Starting with the flag and moving clockwise you will see: The Ir*qi flag, a souvenier backpack from operation Ir*qi freedom, a cricket bat, a jambia and belt from Y*men. I'll stop the list here for a moment to fill you in a bit. Yes, Jackson has a jambia. What? You don't know what that is??? Why, it's what this man in the picture is wearing. And yes, Jack has the whole outfit. You might not think so, but it's really quite popular at parties.

Let me continue with the list: a FULL Army canteen, (just water, folks, just water), a remote control tarantula and it's remote, some of Race's old Army advancement rank pins(apparently these were SO special to him that he gave them to his son to play with), an Indiana Jones whip, a reptile pocket guide, and last but not least, a CQD knife (Ummm...Race??)

We look after the boy, we do.
It's just that......his father.....well.......he travels. ;-)

Cheers!
Melissa

my name is melissa and i have a problem

So. I got this ad in the mail today.

Sweet, sweet shoe god. What are you trying to do to me?
Now, a couple of the booties on the left headlight caught my eye, and mind you I would love to have them. But the pair that stopped me cold in my tracks, made my palms sweat, and realize that I simply could.not.live.another.happy.day.without the knowledge that these shoes were on their way to my closet, was the breathtaking boot on the RIGHT headlight.

Meet the Oro Nero "angie" from Piperlime.
Theyre not black. They're brown.
Oh.My.GOSH.
My trembling fingers quickly dropped the ad and tapped out the email address where my lovely fall boots awaited. I quickly found them, and hit "select". Then they drop in your virtual shopping cart and you checkout, right???

No. No my friends. That is not what happened. A new screen appeared that read something like, "Yes, we loved these too, we just weren't able to keep them in stock. Have a look at our other shoes and maybe you'll find a new favorite".

wait a minute. what?

Then I hit the back button several times and tried repeatedly, thinking that this was some sort of glitch. Some sort of computer error. Some sort of damned sick joke!

Quickly I " googled" the name of the boots.

nothing. Only at THIS store can you get these shoes.
what???

Ah-HA! EBAY!
My fingers flew...

nothing. .............On EBAY!!!!

What the h_ll??? BUT-but-but...I JUST GOT THE AD!!!!!!!!!!
Good God People! This is AMERICA!! The country of immediate gratification. Of over-the-top materialism. And you're tellin' me that I can't HAVE these boots??? These wonderful, buttery soft, look- good- with- anything- boots??

My ONE FALL SHOE PURCHASE! And you're tell'n me I CAN"T get them???

Is this what life would be like with Obama as president?

Seriously. I was crushed. and angry. How dare Piperlime send me an ad on an out-of-stock beautiful boot. I had already envisioned myself wearing them. I could just see myself clicking down the isles of Food Lion, pushing my little cart. (Silence! It's where I hang. Don't laugh. I live in the country.)
My mind began to trail. I was losing it. I could envision myself handing a large wad of cash to some immigrant somewhere, with his grateful family behind him, as he handed me the boots. (O.K, this was a little off seeing as how these were made in Germany.....but you can see my utter desperation.)

So I sent Piperlime and email. I asked if these shoes would be available again. As of this evening I had not received a reply.

I began to think of the OTHER people who had already PURCHASED the boots. (You know BEFORE they were out of stock.) Ha! Lock your doors tonight people.Lock your doors.

I thought of seeing them on someone. On a friend, even. "So....where'd you get THOSE stupid boots?" I'd say.
" Oh yeah?.......Well....they're stupid."

Tonight, I wanted to show Savannah the boots. She doesn't REALLY care, but she pretends that she does. And then I pretend I "get"art. It all works out, really. I went to piperlime again. And there they were.

BACK IN STOCK. (chorus of angels singing)

Piperlime has a ROCKIN' customer service department!

ALL HAIL THE GREAT SHOE MECCA THAT IS PIPERLIME!!!

Don't judge me.

Look at them again.

Cheers!

Melissa