I had a huge, baseball sized knot in my stomach tonight.

*Austin went to his first Boy Scout troop meeting. He was a cub scout and a webelos scout, but this is our first Boy Scout Troop experience. This is a new troop, that is sponsored by our church. Austin knows several of the 18-20 boys in the troop. The Scout Masters are AWESOME! At least 2 of them are Eagle Scouts, and there is one 16 yr old Eagle Scout in the troop. They run the troop meetings in a fun, but disciplined and efficient manner. All the Scout Masters, and all of the boys are dressed, inspection-ready style, in their uniforms every week. They begin with formation, pledges and prayer. This is an excellent Boy Scout Troop, and well worth dragging myself out of the house, on what was my one free night of the week, for an hour and a half meeting across town. *

SO. WHy the knot in my stomach???

Because I know how much Austin wanted his dad to be there with him tonight. ANd I know how much Race would LOVE to have been there. I couldn't even turn to look at A. when I left the gym, because I knew that if I saw his face I would have lost it completely. An entire gym full of men and boys in their uniforms......and ME. (Everyone was very helpful and accommodating.) But... talk about feeling completely inadequate and intimidated. If Race wasn't Johnny Bad Ass, it wouldn't be half as bad....but HE IS. I mean c'mon. If that was your dad, wouldn't you want him to be there with you.....at BOY SCOUTS? You'd know how much the other kids would love him, and how fun he would be. And for Race, doing this stuff with his son would bring him some of the best pleasure to be had on this earth. I was fighting back the tears all night, and feeling that knot get tighter.

As for Austin, he did great. He shook hands with the Scout Masters, and introduced himself. He was fine. He had a great time. And he might be going on the troop campout this weekend if we can work the scheduling out.

We are headed up to the cabin tomorrow. I will not be taking ANY school stuff. Fun books ONLY. Austin has requested that we make chili, and we will be having birthday cake. The kids are taking a metal detector, because that whole area up there never fails to yield interesting, old stuff. Let's just hope that we can keep the fire going all night in that stove, cause it's gonna be cooooold!

Have a good night!
Melissa

Oh- and I forgot to add that we went to the $$store and bought about 8 small mirrors, so that Jack can work with light, reflection,and refraction to his hearts content. He is absolutely fascinated with this. Thank-you Bill Nye.