Finding a new balance

I've been thinking a lot about my little corner of the world lately. I like it, it is comfortable. But it is not all that it could be. I find myself in a new stage of my life with children ages 13,11, and 7. When they were little, so much of my job revolved around their physical needs. I just kept on changing diapers, cleaning up messes, cleaning up messes.....etc. etc. All the while guiding and training (and calling my Mom) hoping I was "doing it right". We were always trying to make ends meet, and one of the best ways that we found to do that was to stay home. So we did. We took walks, we played outside, we played in the creek, we had a garden, we tried our luck with chickens, then ducks, then rabbits. We stayed busy. We saved money in ingenious ways to go on vacation. We were creative in how we spent our time.
I find myself in a different spot now. We are on the go. We have more. We do more. The older ones need this time, and I think that it is an important part of their growth and learning( Just like raising baby animals was an important part). They are trying out new found skills and learning about competition. It is wonderful to watch this process and the timing of it just feels right. The younger one gets pulled along and definitely is "wiser to the world "than his brother and sister were at his age, but still, with effort, we seem to strike an agreeable balance between getting to accompany big brother and big sister to all of their activities, and still having time to just run around outside and play with sticks in the dirt (which I happen to believe is an integral part of childhood!).
But as I assess this new stage, I find that it is lacking. I run these children all over the place. I watch them try their hardest at different skills, and try to attain goals that they set. I cheer for them when they excel, and my heart aches for them when they struggle. We are very busy. We are,by most standards, very productive. But we are missing something. We are not doing enough for OTHERS. In our world today, people praise you for being a Mom who takes her kids to activities. Big Deal. I DO NOT want to be that Mom that slaps the soccer ball sticker on her car, and drags her kids all over creation, all the while patting herself on the back for being such a good Mom. Producing completely self absorbed little humans to introduce into the fray of a society already over burdened with such thinking. That's just not what it's about.
I know that the Lord is dealing with me on these very issues, and I am trying to sort it out. I need to do more to guide these children in doing for others, as a servant of God. Isn't it the truly wretched and unwanted that God wants us to love? To make that special effort? The ones whom society has cast aside? I am uncertain where to find my new balance. Perhaps it won't be very comfortable. Perhaps it isn't supposed to be. But this is a big one, and it is our job as parents to see that these children are given the tools and the guidance that they need to serve God. I'm not sure yet, how we will proceed, but I know that God's grace is sufficient for the task. How do you do it? Prayers and advice are appreciated!
good night,
Melissa